I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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