We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
