If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
