So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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