Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
