video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
