im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My vagina just clenched in fear
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
