Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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