Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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