I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
