We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
