At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my vag is so smooth its legendary
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
