I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
