my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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