he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
