I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
