Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i dont even know how to be here
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
