At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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