I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
