You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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