new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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