at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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