Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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