She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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