Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
