I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
