it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
