I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
