I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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