I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
