We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
