My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
