I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
