yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
