well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
This toilet bowl is my home.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
