Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
