I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
