high people should be assigned attendants
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
