She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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