i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
