Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
