Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
