wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
