I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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