i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
