There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
