actually, I'm a sock model
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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