I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
