Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
