Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
